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The Netherfield Ball surpasses every expectation. Your older daughters are much admired, your wife and younger daughters behave even more foolishly than usual, and Mr Collins excels himself. After supper, singing is talked of, and Mary readily obliges, exposing the family to new heights of ridicule. Poor Lizzy beseeches you with her eyes to intervene. At last you take the hint and, when Mary has finished her second song, you announce, “That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.”

This does not seem to be the intervention that Lizzy is expecting; indeed she looks disgusted with you.

No matter; there is plenty more entertainment. Mr Collins produces a sermon on his obligations to his esteemed patroness, your wife contrives that your party is the last to leave and the Bingley sisters do not attempt to disguise their impatience to see everyone gone. 

You are delighted with Mr Darcy; there is a brooding darkness about him that makes you wonder if he has hidden talents similar to your own, and he spends the latter half of the evening gazing at your wife, younger daughters and Mr Collins as if they have escaped from a lunatic asylum.

End of Chapter 5. 

Congratulations, you are becoming Mr Bennet! Chapter 6 is here.

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