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You decide never to visit this man - even though, if he is indeed a single man of good fortune, this will have significant repercussions.


First, it means your wife and daughters will not be introduced to him until it is too late and he has been snapped up by one of your marriage-hungry neighbours. The Lucases, for example - Lady Lucas is your dear wife’s arch enemy, although they feign friendship.


And second, it means you will spend the rest of your life listening to your wife’s shrieks of regret and recrimination … Wait - shouldn’t that be “appearing to listen”?


You find the scruffy tinker fellow who is always loitering near Meryton’s only public house, The Gambler’s Arms. He sells you two little oddly-shaped pieces of wax for a farthing, and assures you they are a foolproof charm against shrieking wives.


You insert them according to his instructions and, strangely, you never hear another word from Mrs Bennet.


Unfortunately, this brings our story to an untimely end! To keep the story going, try the other link here.

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